how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
