there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
