Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
