ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
