I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
