we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
