I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
