dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
