i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
