we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
