Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize