how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
