his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
