I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My penis needs a shock collar
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
