I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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