He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
