Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
