im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
