8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
