Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
