gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
