I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
