I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
