So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
