I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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