I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize