I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
