I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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