EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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