Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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