If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
