You're completely useless in the revolution.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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