i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
