Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
