evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
