apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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