I think I won the penis lottery.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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