A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
