once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
