i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
