Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
