YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
