C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
