I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
