you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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