he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize