if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
