Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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