Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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