once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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