Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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