What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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