I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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