So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
