so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
