Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
