bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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