I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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