Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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