just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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