yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
