3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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