covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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