i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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