I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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